Since neither one of us have experience with teaching our children about sex we had to go to an expert…our mom, who has successfully taught her three daughters about this important topic. This is a question that is frequently asked so we’re glad to welcome Mom here to share her experiences.
How did you teach your daughters about sex?
I actually have been asked this question several times by moms of younger daughters. Here, in a nutshell, is what I tell them.
- Begin at a young age to foster open communication by answering any questions your kids ask and never making them feel foolish or embarrassed for asking.
- Make a point of sitting down with your daughter well in advance to explain the changes that will be happening in her body soon, both inside and out. Show her what supplies she will be needing when her period begins, how to use them, and where to find them when she does need them.
- Always present the changes your daughter will be going through as something to look forward to rather than dread. Growing up and preparing to be a wife and mother is exciting. Share that excitement.
- Listen to your child’s conversation to discern the unasked questions, confusion, or misconceptions she may have. Find some private time to address those issues.
- Remember to answer only what your child asks. Never overwhelm with information your child is not ready to hold. When your five-year old asks where babies come from, simply explaining that God causes them to grow in mommy’s tummy is probably all that is needed. When she is ready, she will ask more questions. In our family, the bigger questions usually came naturally as we studied biology and anatomy together.
- When she is grown and preparing for marriage, give her a good sex book to read. I recommend Intended for Pleasure by Ed Wheat, M.D. When you give it to her, emphasize that she is not marrying the book. Her task will be to study her husband, not the book, to really learn about sex. Be ready to answer lots of questions as she reads the book (if you have been open to talk about such things) and to help her anticipate the adventure of discovering sex together with her own husband. Make sure she knows it won’t look just like the book.
Overall, the best way to talk sex with your daughters is to make it a normal and good thing. Of course, they will learn there is a proper time and place to discuss these topics, but as long as you make yourself always available to listen and answer, it should all be a normal part of the growing up process. So instead of worrying about it, look forward to it and enjoy it!